


In His Shoes

by beatrixlowe



Category: Original Work
Genre: Age Difference, Boys' Love, Fluff and Humor, High School, M/M, Yakuza, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-07-23 13:40:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 18,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7465578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beatrixlowe/pseuds/beatrixlowe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hiromu falls head over heels for a stranger who gave a talk to his class, Yukimura Tatsuya, even though he is many years older and looks like an average salary-man. He puts on a prim and proper facade and fakes his desire to learn more from Yukimura-san, aiming to one day do perverted things with him. As long as the man doesn't know he's a yakuza's son, it's fine.<br/>(Only 1 chapter is explicit)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is inspired by a scandalous photograph of two pairs of men shoes revealed at the bottom of a closed toilet door. Even more hilarious was how my friends went into an impromptu discussion about how it happened. To see the photo and the conversation, please go to my facebook page, twistedmedley.

It was love at first sight.

A cliché, dramatic and unrealistic thought, but this tiny spark quickly spread into an all-consuming flame that engulfed Hiromu's mind as he looked at the person who stood in front of the classroom. The stranger was not terribly good-looking; just an average white-collar worker with the corners of eyes drooping from society's pressure. Unimpressed, for the stranger seemed the boring sort, the rest of the class switched back to indifference and were resigned to sitting through another hour of torture, but not Hiromu. The teenager was spell-bound, amazed and confused, because he had never been interested in romance.

Yet his heart was beating madly for a man in his thirties. A man he didn't even know.

Time out, he scolded himself and forced his gaze to the handouts on his table. The headings read 'Basics of Entrepreneurship' and those were the only words he could make out, because the font was big. The rest was just blurry indistinguishable jumble as he searched, subconsciously, for the speaker's name.

"Good morning. I am Syncore's Yukimura Tatsuya and I am honoured to be invited by the school to give a talk about Entrepreneurship."

Yukimura-san.

Hiromu tested mouthing the name, and he did so with lips that threatened to smile any moment. It was unbelievable how happy he felt just from hearing the man's voice and knowing his name. The satisfaction was thicker than when he successfully slipped out of school without notice, or when he managed to beat up five troublesome upperclassmen on his own. That voice, calm and confident, held an irresistible charm that captured his attention like no other teacher could. Everything about the man, the black spectacles, black suit and black oxford shoes, exuded a powerful aura that commanded his obedience.

And thus, for the first time in his high school life, the delinquent took notes in a lecture.

If this was what it took to get closer to the man, to eventually press him against a wall and hear him cry out passionately, Hiromu decided he would pull no punches.

…Perhaps it was lust at first sight.

* * *

He would do anything, including pretending to be a good student. Hair combed down and gakuran uniform properly buttoned up, Hiromu approached the man just as he was about to step out of the school gate.

"My apologies for disturbing, Yukimura-san," he spoke in polite Japanese, and god was he ecstatic when their eyes met. "May I ask you some questions regarding the talk you just gave to our class?"

"Certainly," the man said with a measured smile, and the teenager thought he was going to get a hard-on. "Shall we speak inside the building?"

It took three seconds for Hiromu to comprehend Yukimura-san's suggestion, and he shook his head vehemently. He'd rather die than let his classmates witness his good-boy pretence.

"No, no, no!" he growled, widening his eyes the same way he would when dealing with those who dared oppose him, until he remembered whom he was speaking to. He coughed. "I mean, I am wondering if it would be a better idea to speak at the café nearby. You see, the extra-curricular activities are starting soon and it will be too noisy to have a proper conversation."

It was a crappy excuse. Hiromu kept his smile brave as Yukimura-san raised an eyebrow.

"I am sure we can find a quiet corner in school," the man said.

Yes a quiet corner sounded great, especially if it allowed moans to echo, but that was a fantasy Hiromu had no time to indulge in at the moment.

"I-I have a lot of questions!" he blurted. "I thought your speech was motivational and I took notes of everything you said! I am really hoping to start my own business one day."

"Oh? And which industry are you hoping to enter?"

The yakuza industry. He could take over his father and serve in the current gang, or one day pull out and start a gang of his own. What did yakuzas do again?

"Finance or hospitality. I am still considering."

"Impressive."

Finally, there was a crack in the man's reserved stance. The severe countenance that Yukimura-san wore softened and his shoulders relaxed just a little. Encouraged by the impact he was making, Hiromu continued.

"You spoke about the importance of establishing connection with people. So I am hoping to, um, buy you a drink at the café, if you don't mind."

Yukimura-san chuckled, and the adorable sight made Hiromu more certain that he wanted a connection with the man. The other kind of connection.

"It is too early for you to be giving a treat, but I accept your request. Let me share with you more, and if you succeed in the future, you can then treat me to dinner. How about that?"

Hiromu nodded like an enthusiastic puppy. In his heart, he thanked his father for drilling in him the polite way of speaking, and he also thanked his late mother who insisted that he studied. It would have been hard to converse with the salary man if he lacked the knowledge. But most of all, he thanked all the girls who looked like pigs and never piqued his interest.

He was thankful he turned out to be gay if it was for Yukimura-san, and he could not wait to proceed to the next stage of his pursuit.


	2. Chapter 2

Two short buzzes from the phone drew Tatsuya’s attention from the computer screen. He sighed, picked up the phone, read the message and sighed again. It has become more frequent lately and he expected it on every alternate Mondays; a message from his mother telling him to come home more often. He stared at the message, remembered the guilt of what he had done, weighed it against his desire to go home, and decided that it was not time yet.

After a quick reply to pacify his mother, he faced the computer screen again and continued scheduling meetings with the clients, on behalf of his boss. Though he went to a school and gave a talk on Entrepreneurship, he was not the person who started the company Syncore. It was his friend, and he was merely one of those who helped give a push. That was why when it was time for lunch, he sighed again. He felt as if he was lying to Hiromu-kun by sounding all wise and experienced in their conversations, when in truth he was just a plain, worn-out salary man.

Then there was also the fact that he was getting tired of the meet-ups. The inspired youth was more tenacious than he expected, and somehow their meetings continued though it had been a week since he visited the school. It was refreshing to meet someone so driven and he enjoyed the little chats they managed to squeeze into his lunch time. But when he had a mountain of work to clear and troubles of his own to deal with, he just felt drained.

Perhaps this time he would make up an excuse to stop meeting with Hiromu-kun.

Politely declining lunch invitations from colleagues, he made his way out of the building and waited at the traffic junction. Just across the road was the café where they always met. He strained his eyes in search of the familiar figure but no one was there. Puzzled, because the student was always punctual, he cast his sight wider around the area.

One street away, Hiromu-kun had an elbow held out and was helping an elderly blind man cross the street. The young man wore a warm smile and was patient though the old man was extremely slow. When they reached the other side of the road, Hiromu-kun bowed politely and declined merit for his actions.

Tatsuya watched the scene and did not notice the green man until the moving crowd pushed him. His impression of the student had been good since the first day they met, but this scene triggered something deeper in him. He thought of his father, remembered the way he limped, and wondered if things would have been different if he had been half the promising youth that this Hiromu-kun was.

Smiling wryly and shaking his head, Tatsuya scolded himself for being petty. He would be a rather pathetic senior if he declined to meet this rare young man who appreciated his advice.

It would be great if he could help Hiromu-kun attain the success that he never could.

+++

He would never tell.

Because Yukimura-san smiled genuinely. Because Yukimura-san praised him with his beautiful voice. Because Yukimura-san was so impressed by the act of chivalry and humility.

He would never tell…that the blind old man was actually an ex-yakuza highly respected by the gang his father was in.

It happened like this. He got out of school the moment the bell rang, nonchalantly skipped all after-school activities, and bumped into his father’s friend. As it turned out, they were in a pinch because they were supposed to escort the old man Hoshino-san home but their boss, the kumicho, called for an emergency meeting. Hiromu was therefore given the task, which he took all too happily because it was chance for him to get on the powerful man’s good side. Even better was the fact that Hoshino-san hated escorts. All Hiromu did before he was dismissed, was help the old man cross a few streets.

It was a bonus that his actions were seen and misinterpreted.

“Most youths are too absorbed in their own world to even notice the people around them,” Yukimura-san was saying.

“I know what you mean,” Hiromu answered thoughtfully. “It is a shame how some of them walk while listening to music and staring at their phones. I’ll never do something like that. I think it’s only right to be aware of the surroundings and extend a hand to those in need.”

The reply earned another charming smile and Hiromu’s heart melted.

“If only there’re more young people like you, I’d be convinced that the world isn’t doomed.”

“That’s not true. The world needs more people like _you.”_

They exchanged polite laughs, but unbeknownst to the older man, Hiromu was busy imagining a world full of Yukimura-sans. More of those pretty smiles, sexy legs and cute butt would surely make the world a better place.

“But really, jokes aside, I think it’s very important to have empathy,” Yukimura-san said, and Hiromu was observant enough to catch a tinge of sadness in his tone though he knew not why. “To have the ability to stand in another’s shoes and see from his perspective…I think it beats scoring straight A’s in exams.”

There was a sudden silence then, filled only by the soft sounds of cutlery on plate as Yukimura-san ate. It was a side of the older man that Hiromu had never seen, so he only nodded and kept quiet.

But in his mind, a heated debate took place.

Was that a sign?! Or in the terminology of dating simulation games - a flag?!  
Yukimura-san was revealing hints of his more private self and deeper thoughts. Their relationship was going past professionalism, and it was way faster than Hiromu expected. He had originally planned to only ask about the man’s private life after a month, because after all he was a nobody and they had a fourteen-year age gap, but then suddenly this delicious opportunity was served to him on a platter.

The stars were all aligned this day. He decided to take the chance.

“Sorry if it is impudent of me,” he said carefully, “but I am very curious about your life experiences, and I wonder what made you say something like that. You sounded like you were talking about yourself.” He gulped. “Do you mind… sharing with me?”


	3. Chapter 3

Yukimura-san liked blue. Disliked orange.

“Hey Hiromu! No hurry to go home, right?”

Liked tuna. Disliked salmon. Liked jazz. Disliked heavy metal.

“It’s that nerd’s birthday. Let’s _celebrate_ for him alright?”

Liked science fiction, disliked romance. Liked dogs, disliked cats. Liked...

“I know! He can pay for our karaoke session! Isn’t that a grand idea Hiro-”

The speaker had no time to even gasp before an arm hit his chest and slammed him against the wall.

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up,” Hiromu growled. His hair was styled, not combed down, the edge of his shirt was left untucked, and his eyes held no meek gentleness. “You dare to interrupt my thoughts? You must be sick and tired of living.”

“S-Sorry,” his classmate said with face matching the whiteness of the wall behind. “I couldn’t tell you were thinking.”

“What did you think I was doing then, huh?! Shitting?!”

A fist rose and there was a yelp. Satisfied with the reaction, Hiromu lowered his arm and let the other student go. Then his face transformed back into the silly blissful expression that he wore earlier. The people around him shuddered and made way - they did not want to be like that poor student who was fooled into thinking that Hiromu was in a good mood.

But the truth was, Hiromu _was_ in a good mood. He was thinking about his favourite Yukimura-san and feeling fortunate that he managed to learn so much about the man in just two weeks.

That day, when asked about why he sounded melancholic, Yukimura-san had laughed and waved away the topic, saying that Hiromu should not be bothered by it. Needless to say, Hiromu remained bothered, and to figure out how far Yukimura-san was willing to share with him, he asked many basic questions about his likes and dislikes.  Since then, a fact sheet formed in Hiromu’s head, and he went through Yukimura-san’s answers whenever he had time.

Yukimura-san liked smart people. Hiromu grinned, looking forward to show his result for the recent science quiz. He scored an A just for the man. He couldn’t wait to score the man himself.

Unable to suppress the love and joy bubbling within, the notorious delinquent let out a high-pitched squeal. A teacher who happened to walk past jumped and hugged the wall.

“I want to give him everything he wants!” he exclaimed like he owned the school. “And I want his everything!”

To give without asking for repayment was idiotic, and to demand without giving was barbaric. Always give before demanding, that was what his father taught him. Unfortunately, Hiromu was not rich and had nothing to give. His father was rich, but that miserly old fool would never part with his coins easily.

Gloom erased his smile as he wondered what he could give to Yukimura-san. All he had was his pathetic allowance, his brains and his muscular body.

Just then, an idea struck him and he stopped in the middle of the corridor. His lips spread into another grin as he looked at his hands.

That’s right. He had strong hands.

+++

Tatsuya was shocked when he saw the person waiting for him right outside his office building after work.

“Yukimura-san,” the teenager jogged to him and greeted pleasantly. “You must be tired after a day of hard work.”

“Hiromu-kun, why are you here?”

“I thought we could have dinner together,” Hiromu-kun said, abashedly rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m sorry to disturb you.”

“Oh, no. That’s not it. I was just surprised because we always only met during lunch.”

Their relationship was a strange one. It was not professional though they mainly spoke about work and aspirations. They were more like friends, but Tatsuya was unaccustomed to having a friend so much younger than himself. Still, this teenager was more matured than any other he knew and seeing the youthful smile somehow made him feel less dreary. He found himself returning the smile.

“I see you already bought a bento,” he said.

“It was on discount,” Hiromu-kun replied with a strained laugh. “I’m penniless.”

“It’s wise to spend within your own means.”

Following Hiromu-kun’s lead, Tatsuya too bought a bento from a convenience store. They ate at a nearby park and talked casually about school and work, and he was impressed when Hiromu-kun shyly revealed that he scored an A in a test. Before he knew it, he was sharing about the progress in his work and how he managed to gain more clients recently, and under Hiromu-kun’s prompts, he went on talking about various other challenges in his work.

“Some clients are just so hard to please. They have ridiculous ideas and want us to work magic.”

Was it because subtle stars hung in the sky instead of the glaring sun? Tatsuya was not sure why he felt more open about sharing. Hiromu-kun remained patient throughout his rant, only giving prompts and comments at appropriate moments. It was hard to dislike the teenager’s company.

“You ought to enjoy your youth while it lasts,” he said after swallowing the last bite. “Once you reach my age, you’ll find you have less energy than before.”

“Nonsense! Thirty-one is still considered young! You’re exaggerating.”

With that, Hiromu-kun packed his empty bento, stood up and went behind him. Taking that as a cue, Tatsuya left his seat as well, but a pair of hands pressed on his shoulders and insisted that he sat down.

“Hiromu-kun?”

“Let me give you a massage!”

“Huh?”

The hands began kneading his shoulders before he could refuse, and unused to the sensation, Tatsuya struggled.

“You don’t have to do this,” he said amidst a nervous laugh. “It’s kind of ticklish.”

“I should use more strength, then?”

“Wait…woah!”

Fingers reached the area just below the back of his neck and squeezed. The massage became more firm and it shocked him at first, but he slowly relented and learnt to enjoy it. Each push worked right into his tense muscles, loosening them and drawing out energy that he thought had depleted after a full day’s work. He let out a sigh.

“Thanks. It feels good.”

“Really?”

Was it his imagination, or was Hiromu-kun’s voice deeper than usual? Just when he wanted to turn around, the hands slid down his spine all the way to the small of his back; it surprised him so much that a soft cry escaped his lips.

“H-Hiromu-kun?”

“You’re tense here,” came the reply. And no, it was not his imagination. Hiromu’s voice held a husky tone that was not there previously, and it sounded suspiciously near his ear.

But because Hiromu-kun was technically doing him a favour, Tatsuya decided not to say anything. He endured the touches that targeted the more sensitive areas of his back while trying not to gasp, and when the massage was over, he turned around and thanked the teenager again.

“You’re really good at this.”

“I regularly give my father massages.”

“He is lucky to have a filial son.”

“I’ll be happy to give you massages in the future too.”

“Oh, no, I - ”

“Please! I just wish to thank you for all the time you spent with me.”

Hiromu-kun beamed, and the sight stirred something within Tatsuya. His body felt warmer than usual, and he wondered if it was the effect of the massage. After all, no one had given him a massage in a very long time. Lowering his head to hide an embarrassed smile, he replied.

“Well…since you put it this way…I guess I shall accept.”

 


	4. Chapter 4

“You’ll not believe this,” Tatsuya grumbled and took a bite of teriyaki chicken. “He actually rejected our proposal! After months of refining it for him, he just tossed us an excuse and turned us down.”

“That bastard!” Hiromu-kun slammed his fist on his thigh and exclaimed. Tatsuya nodded earnestly.

“You’re right, he’s a bastard!”

By now it was very obvious to Tatsuya, that there was something very wrong with himself. He used to be prim and proper, and will not utter a word as uncouth as ‘bastard’, yet the insult came naturally to him in the presence of the teenager. The outburst also made him feel a lot better and he was soon laughing along as they discussed and imagined ways to kill the man. He could not believe how addictive it was to share his woes with the high school student.

Tatsuya was getting used to having the teenager around. For a week, Hiromu-kun waited for his work to end every evening and they hung out at the park thereafter, to chat and have dinner. Sometimes, Hiromu-kun shared about his school life and it was nostalgic to hear how he made notes and listened attentively in lessons. Tatsuya used to be a hard-working student too, when he was young.

But unlike the self-driven Hiromu-kun, he was _forced_ to work hard.

“Is it all right for you to spend so much time with me?” Tatsuya asked while Hiromu kneaded his back.

“Don’t worry about me,” the cheerful youth said. “I finished all my homework while waiting for you.”

“I’m not talking about your studies, Hiromu-kun.” Tatsuya tapped the hand on his shoulder and turned to face the other. “I’m concerned about your family. Is it really fine for you to stay out till late?”

“It’s only eight!” Hiromu-kun said with a laugh. “My dad is still working, so it’s fine even if I go back a bit later.”

“How about your mom?”

“She passed away when I was young.”

Tatsuya frowned.

“I’m sorry.”

“No need to be. It happened a long time ago.”

He did not expect the two of them to be this similar; they were like two sides of the same coin. Tatsuya remained silent for the rest of the massage, and he wondered how long it has been since he met someone who could relate to him. He had his colleagues and his college friends, but he always secretly felt distanced from them. The smiles he put on at their gatherings were often forced; he was so used to putting on a happy mask to be polite and social that he had given up on expressing his true thoughts and feelings, until Hiromu-kun came along.

“…My father passed away too,” he revealed when Hiromu-kun sat down beside him again. He could not help himself, because this was something he had wanted to talk about for years, to someone, anyone who cared enough to listen. “It happened during my last year of college. In a way, I…I drove him to his grave.”

+++

For once, Hiromu listened without having any perverted thoughts. He watched the delicate, forlorn expression on Yukimura-san’s face as the man talked about his past, how his father always wanted him to become a doctor like himself and how the huge amount of pressure almost made him sink into depression in his youth. Hiromu said nothing and just listened, absorbing every word.

“When my friend proposed starting up Syncore, I hastily grabbed the chance,” the man said and sighed. “I was desperate to get out of my father’s clutches. I wanted any path as long as it was not the one he wanted me to walk.”

The frown Yukimura-san wore deepened as he spoke, but even the way his eyebrows arched was beautiful.

“On the day our company was set up, my father confronted me. He came all the way to school even though his leg was in pain, because I had been staying in my friend’s dorm and refused to go home.”

Each word came out with more difficulty than the previous, and Hiromu was tempted to tell the man to stop. He could not bear seeing Tatsuya so sad.

“We fought that evening, and I said many nasty things. Accused him of giving me an unhappy childhood, said it was all his fault I turned out to be rebellious and he had no right to blame me. I…I said I wished I was not his son.

“He stopped scolding me thereafter, said nothing as he dropped his head and left. I thought I had won the argument, and I did not feel guilty even as I watched him limp away. I enjoyed the next few days of freedom without any phone calls from my parents. When I finally received one, it was from my mom, telling me that my father was in the hospital.

“He was run over by a truck on the way home, after a trip to the bank. It was because he fell. His bad leg gave out at the wrong time.” Tatsuya swallowed before continuing. “It was only later that I learnt that he had donated a huge sum of money to Syncore, to support me.”

“It’s not your fault,” Hiromu said immediately, placing one hand on the man’s shoulder. He had no idea the person he adored carried such a heavy burden. “Please don’t blame yourself.”

It was painful to hear the hollow laugh. He did not like how Yukimura-san shook his head like it was no big deal, or how he attempted to smile.

“I should have tried to understand him. He did so much for me, cared about me in his own ways, but I had always been blind.” The man sighed and glanced sideways. “You must be disappointed in me. I’m not the nice person you think I am.”

What was he saying? Hiromu gritted his teeth in frustration. This whole talk about Yukimura-san’s past had surfaced out of the blue and he had difficulty trying to imagine what the man must have gone through. But still! He would never think of Yukimura-san as a bad person!

“I sounded as if I was passionate about my work during the talk I gave at your school, when in truth, I was just trying to find an easy way out. I lied to you, Hiromu-kun.”

“That’s not true!” The exclamation left Hiromu as he sprang to his feet, fists clenched. “You are dedicated in what you do, I can tell just from chatting with you. As for the talk, it was inspirational, and I did not think any of your passionate encouragements were lies.”

Ah, how beautifully he had put it. Hiromu mentally gave himself a pat on the shoulder when Yukimura-san thanked him and looked a little less tortured.

They bade each other goodnight and parted soon after, and Hiromu walked back home with a soft smile on his face. While he sincerely empathised with the man, he could not help but feel proud of himself at the same time. It was wonderful knowing that Yukimura-san trusted him enough to tell him this much.

His smile, however, faded as minutes passed and realisation dawned on him.

He stopped even though he was in the middle of a narrow street, and people muttered under their breaths as they pushed past him, but he did not care. All he thought about was what Yukimura-san said earlier.

_‘I lied to you, Hiromu-kun.’_

It was the other way round. He had been the one lying all along, about his fake aspirations, his non-existent study notes. Everything.

What if Yukimura-san found out the truth one day?

The term examination was happening soon, and he had not studied for it at all. If he flunked the tests, Yukimura-san would surely realise the truth, despise him, and refuse to see him anymore. And he will never get the chance to do all the perverted things he wanted to do to the man!

His eyes enlarged in horror and he rested both palms by his cheeks, stretching them down.

What now?


	5. Chapter 5

Hiromu planted his forehead on the ground.

“I have no one to ask but you, Hoshino-san.”

Maths was a piece of cake for him, and if he threatened the smarter students, he could get quality study notes for Science. But Japanese Literature! This subject could be the death of him.

He peeked to see the old man puffing on his cigarettes, languidly burning the minutes which could have been used for studying.

“What about Katsuo?” Hoshino-san said. “Why ask a blind old man when you have your own father?”

As if he could ever ask his father for help! That idiotic man would only laugh in his face and say something along the lines of ‘what’s the point of teaching someone with a pea-sized brain?’ Or he would weep dramatically at his wife’s altar and lament how his son was still useless at seventeen. These, he wished Hoshino-san would understand, but it was impossible since his father was this old man’s favourite lackey in the past. His chances of getting help would diminish if he did not appear filial.

“I do not wish to trouble my father,” Hiromu lied. “He gets home late enough as it is.”

“Katsuo is always busy.” Hoshino-san said and took another puff from his cigarette. “I see, I am just a convenient substitute.”

“What? No, no, no!”

Alarmed that the old man had misunderstood, Hiromu moved forward on his knees and clutched Hoshino-san’s hand.

“Your intelligence is renowned in the group. The wisdom in you only grows with each passing year and I hope that you will impart some of it to me. Please, Hoshino-san, I really need to do well for this exam. I am willing to do anything for you in return,” Hiromu rambled and squeezed the hand. “Even if you cannot see, I hope that you can sense my sincerity!”

“Let go, insolent brat!”

A walking cane landed on Hiromu’s head. He winced, let go and looked timidly at the old man.

“Sincere for help but not sincere about learning. Don’t think I don’t know you skip lessons and play a fool in school every day. To suddenly want to score A’s, you must have some ulterior motives.” Hoshino-san set aside his cane and leaned back on his armchair. “Now unless you come clean with me, I will not help.”

There was no other choice, the old man was too smart for him to fool with a smooth tongue. Guilty, Hiromu explained his real reason and confessed his feelings for Yukimura-san, and he prayed with all his heart that these would not travel to his father’s ears.

“I want to impress him, Hoshino-san. I want to show that I am capable,” he said, kept his head down and waited for a response.

“Impress him by turning your lies into truths? Funny fellow.” A staggered laugh left the old man. “Get up, simple-minded fool. I like that you’re not treating me as a cripple. I will help you.”

Hiromu’s jaw dropped, and he was about to launch into a lengthy declaration of gratitude before the cane hit him again.

“Don’t be too happy, nothing is free in this world. You shall work at my grandson’s café after your exams. I assume you are willing.”

“Yes, of course!” Hiromu replied without thinking.

“Then we can start now. You may ask me anything you wish.”

“N-now…?” It was six. He was supposed to meet Yukimura-san in an hour.

“Is there a problem?” The old man asked, and he did not sound pleased. Weighing his options, Hiromu quickly made his decision.

“No, not a problem at all.” He gathered his hands before his knees and let his forehead touch the ground again. “Thank you, Hoshino-san. I am under your care.”

It felt like forever since a day passed without being able to see Yukimura-san. Would the man be surprised to not see him waiting at his usual spot? If only he had his number, or telepathy skills, or a homing pigeon to deliver his message to Yukimura-san, then he could explain his absence and remind the man to have a balanced meal instead of eating teriyaki chicken all the time.

He sneaked a sigh, learning for the first time that it was possible to be love-sick from just one day of being apart.

+++

Tatsuya waited for ten minutes before walking around the building in search of the youth. Hiromu-kun always waited for him outside main door because he could not enter the building without the key card. Still, Tatsuya walked around inside, just in case.

Half an hour later, he came to terms that Hiromu-kun was really not here this day. He knew he was being silly for taking so long before giving up, but this was a sudden break from their usual routine. He had gotten so used to the teenager’s company that the air seemed colder without him around.

Could it be that Hiromu-kun was disappointed after hearing about his past?

Tatsuya scolded himself. Even if that was the case, it was to be expected and he had no rights to complain. Besides, they were not so close. They did not have each other’s number, and Hiromu-kun never even revealed his last name.

No matter. He bought a bento and headed straight home, sparing not a glance at the spot they always sat as he passed by the park. It was perhaps time for him to restore some normalcy in his life. He could get by even without Hiromu-kun’s massage.

Yet he lay awake that night, unable to find sleep. Sighing into his pillow, he thought himself selfish for feeling upset just because Hiromu-kun did not meet him for one day. How many years would it take for him to finally learn to stand in someone else’s shoes? Instead of being upset, he should be understanding of the student’s fatigue after a busy day in school. What a pathetic senior he had been.

Wanting to change himself, Tatsuya took a later lunch break the next day, and instead of eating, went to the school that Hiromu-kun studied in. He brought a pack of sushi with him, thinking it might encourage the youth to continue working hard.

By the time he reached, students were already pouring from the gates. It was near impossible to look for Hiromu-kun in such a crowd, so he approached a group of boys for help.

“H-Hiromu from class 2B?” one of them said and for some reason, glanced at his friends in a troubled manner. “Are you sure it is not Tachibana Hiromu of 1D you are looking for?”

Tatsuya shook his head. He still remembered the class in which he gave his talk.

There was a puzzling silence, and he wondered if they know who he was referring to. If they did not, he could find someone else to ask.

But just as he was about to give up, another one spoke up.

“If it is really Yamaguchi Hiromu you were looking for, I am his classmate.”

Yamaguchi? The name rang a bell in Tatsuya’s head, but he could not recall where he heard it. Was it at work? At home, on TV?

“He skipped the last homeroom period and left early.”

“Why?” Tatsuya asked. “Was he feeling unwell?”

The group of boys exchanged another look, before explaining.

“He always skips the homeroom period. Even the teachers don’t dare to stop him.”

Tatsuya’s eyes widened, suddenly remembering where he heard the last name. It was the name of the infamous yakuza group in their district and the last name of a man who committed armed burglary and caused an uproar a few weeks ago.

He stood still and listened, the pack of sushi forgotten, as the boys told him all about the fearsome delinquent, Yamaguchi Hiromu.


	6. Chapter 6

Hiromu planted his forehead on the ground. He seemed to be doing it a lot lately.

“I’m sorry, Yukimura-san.”

Sweat rolled down the sides of his face and dripped on the grass. His hands grew cold and clammy, and he did not dare to face the furious man sitting on the park bench. He had tried to wriggle his way out, went as far as claim that he had double personalities, but Yukimura-san did not believe him. Even now the man remained unmoved in the face of his dogeza.

“Five excuses,” Yukimura-san said and pushed up his glasses. “Is that the most you can come up with?”

Hiromu gulped, not daring to raise his head.

“You are an exemplary student, Yamaguchi Hiromu-kun. I’m sure you have the brains to invent more ways to fool me.”

“No, I-I have no more excuses. I’m sorry for lying to you.”

Things had spun completely out of control and it was too late for anything except to tell the truth and to apologise. But what could he possibly say? That he was gay and after his ass? It might be better to keep his mouth shut, wait for Yukimura-san to calm down, and then…and then…

If he knew which bastard ratted him out, he would chop the guy into pieces and flush them down the toilet bowl. Because of that idiot’s big mouth, his three weeks of effort was rendered useless. The time he spent studying, tidying his appearance, loitering the neighbourhood waiting for Yukimura-san’s work to end - all of it was for nothing.

Silence prolonged as Hiromu remained on his knees, regretting. He should have admitted his yakuza background right from the start and sworn to change for Yukimura-san. Maybe the kind-hearted man would have given him a chance. But now it was too late, and he had no idea what he could say to appease the man.

“So? What is your real reason for lying?”

“I didn’t want you to dislike me,” Hiromu admitted shakily.

“Well congratulations, I don’t dislike you. I _despise_ you, not because you are a yakuza’s son, but because you’re a filthy liar.” Yukimura-san’s voice trembled in anger as he spoke.  “You looked down on me and played me for a fool, for three whole weeks.”

To Hiromu’s horror, the man rose from the bench.

“I shouldn’t have told you about my past.”

Yukimura-san was going to leave. Hiromu snapped his head up. He was still at a loss for words, but he had to do something or he would not see Yukimura-san again. In a burst of desperation, he grabbed hold of the man’s leg.

“No, please,” he begged and held on as tightly as he could. “Please forgive me, I’ll never lie to you again!”

“Let go! As if I’d believe you!”

“Please! I just wanted to talk to you more, to get to know you better. I-I really look up to you!”

The struggles stopped momentarily and Hiromu used the chance to kiss Yukimura’s shoe to show his sincerity.

“You’re capable, inspiring, wise,” he rambled. As expected, Yukimura-san began pulling away again, but he had no intention to give up. “Caring, patient, understanding -”

“Stop it -!”

“I want to learn from you, I want to be like you, I want -!”

Hiromu could sense the man wavering. His struggles were not as determined as before, and as long as he continued to apologise, he had a chance of being forgiven. Thinking this, he reached up, wanting to hold Yukimura-san’s hand.

He ended up touching something soft and bouncy.

They froze. Hiromu’s hand stayed at the same spot, pressing against the forbidden area and leaving his imprint. He thought his nose might bleed.

“Nice ass.”

A merciless kick landed on his face, made him lose his grip and sent him to the ground.

“Don’t show up in front of me again,” the man warned before turning away.

At this rate, everything will be over, all because of his own stupidity. He didn’t want this, he didn’t want their evening meetings to end.

There was nothing else to lose. Climbing to his feet, Hiromu clenched his fist and let the truth spill.

“I like you, Yukimura-san!” he yelled, not caring about the pairs of eyes staring at them.

“Huh?!” The man whirled around, and he too did not care about the witnessing crowd. “What’s wrong with you? I’m a guy, you know?”

“I know, but I still like you! It was love at first sight -”

“You’re lying. Just what the hell is your true motive?!”

“I’m not lying!”

The yelling contest ended as Hiromu rushed to envelope Yukimura-san into a hug, making the passers-by gasp and gossip.

“I really like you, Yukimura-san,” he said, crushing the man in his arms. “I enjoy our time together, I feel so happy whenever I see you. C-Can’t you tell?”

“H-Hiromu-kun…”

“Please believe me one more time. I’m willing to do anything. I’ll even study for you.”

“Stop…”

“I’m sorry I’m gay. I’m sorry for falling in love with you, I cannot help it!”

He had said everything there was to say, but still, Yukimura-san was slapping his arms and struggling. Was he this beyond redemption? Did nothing he said touch the man’s heart?

He tried to find an answer from the man’s face and that was when he finally realised it was turning purple.

“Can’t…breathe…”

“Sorry!”

Hiromu let go and jumped away. He watched Yukimura-san cough and hated himself for messing up so many times in a single day. It was one of the few times his strength caused him trouble instead of helping him.

Perhaps he should give up. It was too much to hope for Yukimura-san’s affections, because no matter how hard he tried to pretend, he was just a useless delinquent, a scum of the society. Someone like him who only knew violence was no good for a delicate person like Yukimura-san.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said, swallowing his tears. “But I understand. I…I will not bother you again.”

The crowd that gathered to watch from a distance slowly dispersed now that the show was over. Hiromu kept his head down. He could not bear seeing the man walk away.

“321554768.”

The string of numbers was the last thing he expected to hear. Puzzled, he looked up at Yukimura-san’s hunched back.

“Is that…some kind of code?”

“It’s my number, god damn it!” the man shouted and began walking at an accelerated pace.

Jaw dropped, Hiromu followed behind, trying hard to make his brain process what he just heard.

“Wait, you mean, you forgive me?”

“You wish. I’m still angry.”

“Can we continue to meet?”

“I told you not to appear before me again!”

“But I can send you messages!” Hiromu caught up and grasped Yukimura-san’s hand. “I can call you to hear your voice, right?!”

He must be dreaming, or hallucinating due to shock, but he thought he saw a red tint on Yukimura-san’s cheeks.

“…Only if you promise to attend all your lessons and study properly.”

“I promise!” he exclaimed at once. “I will work damn hard, score A’s and make you proud!”

Yukimura-san nodded, and Hiromu’s heart exploded with fondness.

“You can ask me if you need help with your studies.”

“Thank you. Thank you so much!” Without letting go, Hiromu retrieved his phone from his pocket. “Your number is 321…”

He trailed off, and his face grew pale upon realising he did not know the rest. A chuckle left Yukimura-san just then, further disrupting his attempt to remember the numbers.

“Dimwit,” the man said and pulled his hand free.

“Wait! Please tell me your number again!”

“321554768.”

He wasn’t expecting Yukimura-san to comply.

“321554768!” he yelled the repetition after the man’s diminishing back, half out of sheer euphoria, half out of fear of forgetting. “321554768!”

It was a pity he was not allowed to meet the beautiful man anytime soon, but this was a much better outcome than he could ever hope for. Yukimura-san had just accepted him the way he was. A broad grin stretched Hiromu’s lips and showed his canine teeth, and he felt like the happiest man in the world.


	7. Chapter 7

The phone whirred in his pocket as he tried to listen to the speech. It was a seminar that his friend, also his boss, wanted him to attend. In a few moments, he would be on the stage presenting some research findings. He had to stay focused, to ensure that he would not bring disgrace to their company.

His phone buzzed again, and Tatsuya was thankful that he sat at the back and distracted none other. Annoyed, he considered switching it off. It was unlikely for any colleagues to contact him as they knew he was at the seminar, and anyone one else’s calls were simply not important enough for him to pay them attention. He knew very well who was spamming him with mails, and his patience was thinning.

Why did he give Hiromu-kun his number?

Ever since then, the delinquent pestered him day and night, flooding him with silly mushy messages. Just the day before, he had to endure the interruptions while rushing a last minute report and when he finally had time to watch a movie at home, the exciting scenes were all destroyed by Hiromu-kun’s dramatic declarations of love. The most annoying thing was how he broke up a long message into several mails instead of saying it all in one go, and that was what Tatsuya suspected was happening right at this moment.

He whipped out his buzzing phone while clicking his tongue.

‘Yukimura-san, I miss you so much!’

‘When can I see you?’

‘I’ve been working hard in school.’

Tatsuya sighed. It was as he had expected - nothing important. His finger made its way to the power button, he had already missed too much of the speech for his liking, but before he could switch off his phone, yet another mail came in and this time, it was one that made him raise his eyebrow.

‘You’ll not believe what just happened.’

Seconds passed as Tatsuya stared at his phone, waiting, and when the screen blacked out from being idle for too long, he quickly pressed a random button to reawaken it. Then against his better senses, he sent a reply.

‘What is it?’

Against someone like Hiromu-kun, ignoring was the best option, yet he had unwittingly prompted the man for more annoying messages. What could he do? He was too curious for his own good. His foot tapped impatiently as he waited for a reply.

‘I volunteered to answer my teacher’s question. I raised my hand like a good student. And you know what?’

The suspense! Tatsuya gritted his teeth, swearing to kick Hiromu-kun again someday. Thankfully, the next message came within the next few seconds. He read it immediately.

‘She pretended not to see me and asked another student! That bitch!’

Breath escaped Tatsuya’s lips with a fart-like sound and he burst into a laugh, forgetting that he was still in the middle of the seminar. Heads turned to look at him and he clasped his mouth shut. He then gave an apologetic bow and dashed to the toilet.

“Serves you right,” was the first thing he said once his call got through.

“Yukimura-san!” Hiromu-kun greeted from the other end. “I’m so happy you called! But don’t you think my teacher was too much? I tried my best for once and she just treated me like thin air! No one should dare to treat me like thin air. No one in the whole fucking universe.”

Expletives continued to pour as Hiromu-kun complained about his teachers, and how some of his lackeys tried to stop him from studying. For some reason, hearing the coarse language brought a grin to Tatsuya’s face. He always thought the teenager sounded too polite for his age.

“And? You disturbed me just to say these?” Tatsuya said, trying to sound cold. “Figure things out yourself, idiot. I’m in the middle of an important seminar right now.”

There was a slight pause before Hiromu-kun spoke.

“But you’re the one who called.”

Blood rushed to Tatsuya’s face as his careless mistake was pointed out to him. Tatsuya’s mouth opened and closed without a sound, unable to refute the statement. He had forgotten what made him initiate the call.

“You said the seminar is important, and yet you called me,” Hiromu-kun said slowly. “Does that mean I’m even more important?”

Without hesitation, Tatsuya ended the call.

He leaned against the sink, breathing deeply in an attempt to stop being flustered. He reminded himself that there was no reason to be flustered in the first place.

He nearly jumped when his phone vibrated again.

“What?!” Again, he was not sure why he answered.

“Why did you end the call?” Hiromu-kun asked, serious and unhappy.

“Because I want you to stop bugging me!”

“Are you still angry at me? Why can’t we meet?”

“Are you even listening -?”

“Why won’t you accept my feelings? Is it because I’m a guy?”

“Well, of course!”

Tatsuya regretted it the moment the words left his mouth. Even if it was the truth, this manner of rejecting someone was too cruel. He recalled the look of dejection when Hiromu-kun apologised and said he would not bother again, and he remembered why he gave his number in the first place. It did not feel right to hurt this naïve fool.

“H-Hiromu-kun,” he started, but was not sure how to continue. “I didn’t mean -”

“I’ll change my sex.”

Tatsuya pulled his phone away to stare at the screen and check that he was still speaking to the same person. Then he rested it against his ear once more and clarified.

“Excuse me?”

“I will save money and go overseas for a sex-change operation.”

“Oh my god please don’t.”

Truth be told, Tatsuya did not say it because he was concerned for Hiromu-kun. He was more concerned about his own welfare and he feared having to run away from a tall and muscular woman with the worst combination of Hiromu-kun’s face and breasts.

“Then is it because I’m too young? In that case I’ll…I’ll travel back in time and tell my father to do it with my mother in junior high!”

“Who the hell wants his parents to have under-aged sex?!” Tatsuya yelled into the phone, trying not to laugh. “That’s against the law in case you don’t know. And you can’t travel back in time anyway!”

Silence ensued as the older man worked to calm down, and when Hiromu-kun spoke again, it was with sombre sincerity.

“Yukimura-san,” the young man said, his tone lower than usual, and a shiver coursed down Tatsuya’s spine. “Unfortunately, I was born a man and fourteen years late. But I am serious about you, and I miss you so much I’m going crazy. Please let me see you again. I really lo - ”

He cut the call and switched the phone off.

How cunning he was. It would have been much easier to give a serious rejection and tell Hiromu-kun to never call again. In the first place, he should not have given his number to the teenager and brought his hopes up.

Filled with self-loathe, Tatsuya dragged himself back to the lecture theatre, but instead of listening, he slumped on the table.

That evening when they last met, Tatsuya was actually not as angry as he seemed. He was in fact relieved to know that Hiromu-kun had been lying and was not the ideal student. It was like things had become fair, because after all, he had not been frank either by trying to act like a reliable senior for Hiromu-kun. There was comfort in knowing that they were both flawed.

Tatsuya pressed his warm face against the cool surface of the table. His heart had been beating at a ridiculous pace ever since he ended the call, and it was forcing him to see the truth.

Perhaps he gave his number because he wanted to continue seeing Hiromu-kun.


	8. Chapter 8

“The one who committed the armed burglary was actually my uncle,” Hiromu said while eating a sausage. “He’s a strange man who always did extreme things on his own. Yet the news highlighted that he was from our gang when we have nothing at all to do with his crime!”

Yukimura-san hummed in response as he chewed on a takoyaki ball.

“In fact, it was my dad who turned him in to the police, because the idiot soiled our family name.”

“Is your father the head of the group?”

“No way!” Hiromu laughed. “If he’s the kumicho, I bet he’ll order people to chop off their little fingers whenever he gets drunk.”

They found an unoccupied bench and sat down. Lining the streets before the shrine were stalls selling all sorts of food, and around them were people in yukatas holding fans and water balloons. Hiromu was wearing a yukata too, and though he was somewhat disappointed that Yukimura-san came in his work clothes, he had no reason to complain.

That was because, it was actually Yukimura-san who called him out on this date.

A repeat, it was actually Yukimura-san who called him out on this date.

His lips stretched sideways the more he thought about it, until it became a creepy grin. Yukimura-san said it was to celebrate the end of his examinations, and for the past twenty minutes, the man had been asking about his life. It started with school-related things, and now Hiromu was made to explain about his family and the gang.

What made Yukimura-san interested so suddenly? Hiromu did not know, but he was content to just drown in his current happiness.

“Like I was saying, it’s my great-great-grandfather who set up the group super long ago. Things happened and the head became someone else with a different surname, not that dad or I minded.”

Hiromu rambled on about the things the gang did, adding funny details on the way to make it more interesting for Yukimura-san. The man laughed at his jokes, and Hiromu busied himself studying the smile he had missed for two whole weeks.

“Can you believe it? It’s all so interesting, but my dad never lets me participate,” Hiromu complained. “I feel damn bad because the other gang members treat me well but I have no chance to repay them.”

“I think your father made a great decision. It’s better this way.”

Hiromu stared at Yukimura-san, his eyes glazed with tears of joy.

“I’m so touched,” he said. “You’re actually worried about me.”

The empty box that once held takoyaki hit his head.

“Who’s worried? I’m saying it’s better because your idiocy would have brought the gang down if you tried to help.”

That was what Yukimura-san said, but Hiromu insisted on believing his own theory. Still grinning, he got up and followed Yukimura-san to wherever he wanted to go. His cheeks were aching by now but he could not help it. He was just too happy to finally see the man again. It had been hell, studying for the exams without being allowed to see Yukimura-san. Only the mails kept him going, he was pretty sure he would be dead by now if not for those words of encouragement.

Hiromu shook his head. This was not the time to dwell on the past, he had an important mission right now, to make up for so many days of emptiness. He wanted to touch Yukimura-san as much as possible. Yes he was desperate, especially because this day might be an exception and Yukimura-san might ignore him for another week or two! Just imagining it made him shudder, and he thought he had better to seize the day than regret later.

They were walking in the narrow crowded street. Hiromu looked around at the people around them, couples mostly. They were all in their own world; no one would notice even if he groped Yukimura-san’s ass, and he could always conveniently blame someone else or claim it was an accident due to the crowd.

What a great idea. Hiromu kept his sights on his target, remembering the softness of that ass and anticipating to feel it again. His fingers stretched out as his palm hovered near, ready to make the decisive grab.

“I’m going to buy some teriyaki sticks, do you want any?”

Yukimura-san whirled around to ask and Hiromu retracted his hand.

“I’m fine, thanks!”

Putting on a fake smile, Hiromu resolved to act faster in the future. This failed attempt was just a coincidence, he told himself.

But he became less sure when it happened again. He wanted to pretend he was pushed by a stranger and thus bumped into Yukimura-san in the confusion, but once again the man swerved and hurried to another store to buy food. Was he really this hungry, or was he avoiding the advances on purpose?

By the fourth failed attempt, it was already time for them to go home. Yukimura-san said he wanted to get one last cone of ice-cream, so Hiromu waited for him while crying on the inside. God was against him, he was sure, but if that was because he was asking for too much, then he’d ask for something less. Just holding hands would do, no, holding even one finger would do.

He held both palms together before his face and uttered his prayer, begging for just one little reward for all the hours of studying he endured.

“What are you doing?”

Yukimura-san stood a short distance away, wearing a sceptical look with a raised eyebrow. It was one of those expressions that only began to show after the truth was revealed.

“Praying,” Hiromu said. “For good grades.”

“Nothing will change even if you pray now, the exam’s already over.”

“I guess so. Maybe I should bribe my teachers… watch out!”

It came out of nowhere, a bicycle speeding from the road bend and heading directly for Yukimura-san. Hiromu charged forward by instinct, grabbed the man at his waist and spun them out of the way. The bicycle whizzed past with a gust of wind, and perhaps distracted by it, Hiromu lost his footing and fell backwards, pulling Yukimura-san along with him.

His head knocked against the concrete and he groaned from the pain.

“Are you all right, Yukimura-san?” he asked, one hand holding the cone of ice-cream upright. By some miracle he had managed to save it in time.

 It only took another second for him to wish he never saved the ice-cream.

This was the perfect chance, he realised as his aching body properly sensed the other man’s weight. It was exactly like the romantic scenes in mangas, and he should just drop the cone and put his arms around the man he loved. He could even touch his ass!

But the cone remained in his hand, because it was the last ice-cream of the day for Yukimura-san.

“That damn cyclist,” Yukimura-san swore as he pushed himself off. “I hope he speeds directly to his grave.”

And the chance was gone. Hiromu lay on the ground a while longer, still holding the cone and regretting his choice. It was just ice-cream, he could have simply bought another for Yukimura-san. Why was he so stupid?

“Here.”

Hiromu looked up at Yukimura-san’s outstretched hand, not understanding anything in his state of self-loathing.

“Stop looking so dumb. Hurry and get up.”

“Oh.”

He held on to the hand without thinking and was pulled to his feet. Yukimura-san then reached for the ice-cream and took it from Hiromu.

“Thanks.”

“Oh.”

Did God just answer his prayer?

Hiromu stared at Yukimura-san’s back, and like water trickling from a faucet, joy oozed from within until it filled his entire being. He skipped forward a step, saw a hint of Yukimura-san’s smile as he ate the ice-cream, and an overwhelming warmth rushed to his head. It was something he had never experienced and at first he thought it was due to his fall. But as time passed and the pleasant warmth made him dizzy, Hiromu thought that perhaps this was what it really meant to fall in love.

 


	9. Chapter 9

His head was in the clouds the entire day, revisiting memories of the evening spent with Yukimura-san at the festival, and so he was in complete shock when he received his results for Japanese Literature.

He passed and scored a glorious B, which was much better than he expected. But that’s not what shocked him. It was a realisation, a painful reminder of something he really wished he never remembered. In exchange for helping him with his studies, Hoshino-san wanted him to work at his grandson’s café after his exams, which meant this very afternoon, all the way till night.

Hiromu hugged his head and slumped on his desk, hating how everything seemed to go against him. How could he get closer to Yukimura-san at this rate? The man was only free in the evening, and yet now he had to work! Why didn’t he think through the deal before agreeing?

Without a choice, he took out his phone after school to send a mail and tell Yukimura-san about his part-time work arrangements.

“Oi, Hiromu.”

The voice came from behind. Hiromu turned to the group standing behind him all looking serious and pissed.

“Come with us. A bastard stole Ken’s girlfriend.”

“So?”

“He’s our buddy, Hiromu!” one of them yelled. “I confronted the bastard to warn him, and he had the cheek to say he’d bring his gang if we wanted a fight. Well we’ll give him a fight he’ll never forget, beat the bloody crap out of him, his gang and slap the slut who left Ken!”

The other guys nodded vigorously, Ken included. Hiromu sighed, not understanding the logic. Sure, he would be devastated if Yukimura-san ever fell in love with someone else, but he would never hurt him.

“You guys do whatever you want,” he said, gathered his things and got up from his seat.

A slam on the table stopped him before he left the classroom.

“What’s wrong with you?! You haven’t been hanging out with us at all lately, all you do is study, and now you’re betraying us?!”

Hiromu stared at the ceiling, wondering how he had been fine hanging out with such petty and clingy people. He clicked his tongue in irritation before turning around, and he kept his hands in his pockets as he paced towards them. He only stopped when his nose was an inch away from Ken’s.

“Don’t get it wrong, I’m not betraying everyone. I’m only betraying one particular idiot who would hurt the person he claimed to love. Got a problem with that?”

Provoked, Ken’s eyes flared in rage and he rose a fist. He was held back by three others who were intelligent enough to know not to pick a fight with Hiromu.

“You think you’re so great, but you’re just riding on your family’s name. You’re useless without the Yamaguchi group!” Ken shouted and struggled as he was pulled out of the classroom.

“We won’t bother you again,” one of them added quietly before leaving.

The door went shut and Hiromu sighed in relief. He then remembered he wanted to tell Yukimura-san about his work.

But even though he knew what to type, the screen remained blank for a long time. Ken’s words spiralled in his mind; it was something Hiromu could not refute, because in truth he was just a useless delinquent who could not even do well in his studies. Aside from beating people up and playing pointless pranks, he had accomplished nothing at all in his life.

If he were Yukimura-san, he would have cut off contact out of disappointment. Yet the man replied his mails, answered his calls and even brought him out to celebrate the end of his exams.

There must be something he could do for Yukimura-san.

Seconds went by as he pondered, and eventually a smile appeared on his face. He typed a short mail, saying that he got a B for Japanese Literature, and that he would be too busy to meet for a few days. Then he hit the ‘send’ button, and switched off the phone, so that he would not be tempted to explain the truth.

It was all right, he told himself. He would do honest work, buy the best gift with his hard-earned money and surprise the man on his birthday. As long as he could make Yukimura-san proud, he could endure a few days of not meeting.

+++

Was it really fine to do this?

Tatsuya stared at the tickets in his hand, their corners creased from being held for too long. Surrounding him were sounds made by fingers hammering the keyboard and occasionally, smooth voices entertaining potential clients. He knew by now how his colleagues were secretly giving him looks of disdain, and he was keenly aware of the blinding glare from his computer screen, accusing him of being unproductive. But he remained staring at the movie tickets and pondering over his next move.

He had exhausted the best excuse - to celebrate the end of exams - and now he had to come up with another. The wise thing to do was to wait for Hiromu-kun to receive all results, and if he did well, Tatsuya could then bring the teenager out to celebrate again, but he was driven by a curious haste when he came across discounted tickets sold in pairs, even though he was never one to be lured by such deals.

He had five hours left to invite Hiromu-kun before the movie started.

Thinking to get this part over and done with, he reached for his phone. He would lie that he received the tickets for free and had no one else to go with.

The phone buzzed just as he was about to write his message, and the shock almost made him jump He quickly stuffed the tickets into his pocket and went straight to the pantry. When he reached a discreet corner of the room, he read the message from Hiromu-kun.

‘I got a B for Japanese Literature, are you proud of me? I will keep working hard, because I love you very much.’

That was unfair. Tatsuya tore his eyes away and willed himself not to be affected. The teenager was probably confused by his raging hormones, especially shown by how he attempted to grab his ass at every given opportunity. Of course he sensed Hiromu-kun’s intentions that evening at the festival; it had been fun thwarting the molestation attempts while pretending to be ignorant. It was also oddly satisfying to know that he could act however he wished and still be adored.

But, Tatsuya reminded himself, it must be due to the hormones. Boys at that age were easily in heat, and Hiromu-kun would get tired of him eventually and shift his attention to someone else.

That was what he thought, but he did not expect to be proven right so quickly.

‘I’m really sorry but I’ll be busy and cannot meet you for a while. Will let you know once I’m free!’

Tatsuya stared at the second half of the message, not knowing what expression to wear.

His fingertip were cold as he typed his message.

‘What are you busy with?’

There Tatsuya stood waiting for a reply, clutching his phone and ignoring his colleagues who entered the pantry. He felt neither the wall behind his back nor the floor beneath his feet, and he had forgotten about the tickets that were still in his pocket. He only felt his own heart sinking with each passing second and heard his inner self taunting him with a cruel ‘see?’

At last, after more than thirty minutes passed without a reply, Tatsuya kept his phone and went back to work.


	10. Chapter 10

The reply he waited for came only when he was about to fall asleep that night. Hiromu-kun brushed the topic off and said he was just busy running some errands. Then for the following week, the mails came in as usual, reporting exam results and claiming to love and miss him.

It was atrocious.

Tatsuya entertained those mails with half-hearted replies, and sometimes he ignored them entirely. It got on his nerves how sincere those words seemed when in fact Hiromu-kun did not even bother looking for him physically. Just how busy could a student like him be, especially after the exams? He said he had to run errands, but Tatsuya already knew he was not involved in the yakuza activities. The only conclusion he came up with was that whoever Hiromu-kun ran those errands for was more important than him. So how dare the frivolous teenager still claim to love him?

With a tug of his arm, Tatsuya sent the blanket over his head. He had lied that he was feeling unwell and skipped work for the first time in his life. But instead of guilt, all he felt was a numbing emptiness urging him to get more rest to make up for the many sleepless nights. He lay still on his bed listening to the slow rhythm of his heartbeat. His eyes remained open, gazing into the darkness and letting the inky gloom seep in, until a thought surfaced on his mind.

It was better this way.

He did not want to lose his temper at Hiromu-kun, because the last time he allowed himself an outburst, it cost his father’s life. What he should do at this moment, was to imagine himself as Hiromu-kun and think in his best interest. A high school student like him still had plenty to experience in life, like dating or going out to enjoy, and it was not wrong for Hiromu-kun to do all these things. If anything, hanging out with a boring salaryman was weirder.

It was better for Hiromu-kun to realise that he was not actually gay. That way he would mature into a regular adult, find a wife and start a family.

Tatsuya wondered how the delinquent would raise his kids - probably threaten to murder them if they played pranks and got into trouble.

A chuckle escaped before he could help it, and he felt like crying in frustration. Why couldn’t he stop thinking about Hiromu-kun, and worse still, feeling happy whenever he thought of the teenager? Even now, his mind would not stop replaying how Hiromu-kun saved him from the bicycle, and the sweetness of the memory only made his current self more bitter.

Pressing a hand against the dull ache in his chest, he tried to forget about their chats and how Hiromu-kun always lent a listening ear and encouraged him. He had to let the images of the warm smiles fade along with the echoing declarations of love.

His phone lay at a corner of the room and it vibrated from yet another stream of messages. Tatsuya squeezed his eyes shut and covered his ears with his arms.

+++

Receiving his first pay was life-changing. Hiromu teared up as he stared at the envelope in his hands.

Finally, he could stop putting on the ridiculous cat ears and rip away the tail dangling at the back of his pants! He no longer had to end every sentence with an annoying ‘nyaa’, or force himself to smile at the female customers who laughed at him, or suppress his incredible urge to flip a table or two.

‘What the shitty café is this?!’ was his first thought when he reported to his boss, Hoshino-san’s grandson, on his first day of work. The stoic man, only a few years older than him, was the kind of person who could look completely serious despite wearing cat ears, and he was a devil when it came to work. Thanks to that, Hiromu-kun was worked to his bones and could not spare even a second to check his phone during his shift.

But that was all over, finally! And he could meet Yukimura-san again!

Hiromu gave the envelope a loud smooch and marched away from the café. With this amount of money, he could buy a very decent gift to impress Yukimura-san. He would then explain how he had been working hard to buy the gift, and Yukimura-san would see him as a capable man. Nodding to himself, Hiromu stepped into the shopping district.

That was when he realised he had forgotten to consider the most important question - what should he buy?

Hiromu looked at the myriad of shops around him, squinting as the vibrant colours of signboards swirled before his eyes. He had no idea where to start and he felt like a lone warrior thrown into an unknown land and told to save the world. The money he held was precious, it was his sweat and blood, and he did not want to spend it on just any object which Yukimura-san might not even like.

Scratching his head, Hiromu trudged down the street thinking himself doomed, but his attention was caught by a shop at a discreet corner, one with bright words flashing across the LCD screen.

‘Satisfy your desires, increase your pleasure.’

Hiromu hurried over like a moth drawn to flame, stuck his face to the glass and shamelessly peered into the exciting shop display. There were dildos of all sizes, and many oddly shaped items which Hiromu had no idea how to use. He was especially confused when he saw the curious product labelled ‘cock ring’, for he did not see why anyone would want to wear an accessory where no one could see, so he whipped out his phone and did his research.

His nose bled a few minutes later.

Shaking his head vigorously, Hiromu tore himself away from the evil tempting shop. It was too early to think about delaying Yukimura-san’s ejaculation before he even managed to kiss the man. Besides, he was not old enough to enter the shop.

There must be something else he could get for Yukimura-san, something that was not a cock ring.

He clapped his hands when an idea struck him. That’s right, he could buy a cock ring, no, he could buy a ring, the kind meant for fingers! It would be a nice symbol of his love and devotion, and Yukimura-san could wear it every day and think of him.

A broad grin distorted his face as he floated about looking for the perfect ring. It took more than an hour of browsing before he made his choice - a simple titanium band with a brushed surface - and he shelled out a few more pennies to engrave their names on the inside.

Would Yukimura-san like it? Would he smile and thank him for the romantic gift?

There were a few more days before Yukimura-san’s birthday, but he could hardly contain his excitement. Even now his cheeks were turning sore from grinning too much and he was dying to hear Yukimura-san’s sweet voice.

He kept the gift box safely in his backpack, took out his phone and gave Yukimura-san a call. His foot tapped on the floor as he listened to the dial tone and waited. But in the end, the tone only died without an answer. Thinking that Yukimura-san must be busy, Hiromu held himself back from spamming calls. He told himself to be patient, because after all he would see the man in just another hour.

But when he reached Yukimura-san’s workplace and learned that the man did not report to work, an uncomfortable pressure grew in his chest. It made him realise, late, that Yukimura-san had not been responding to his mails the entire day, and that his call earlier could have been ignored on purpose.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

It was childish of him to skip work just because of such a silly reason. Realising this, Tatsuya buried himself in work the next day so that he could make up for his absence. As he worked, his phone sought to disturb him, once with the usual message from his mom telling him to come home, and many more times with messages from Hiromu-kun. Needless to say, he ignored them.

“Yukimura-san, there’s a high school student waiting for you outside.”

It was dark and almost everyone else had left. Tatsuya lifted his head and gave his colleague a polite smile.

“It cannot be. I don’t know of any high school student.”

“Eh? But I thought I saw you talking to him…”

“You must be mistaken.”

With that, and a look that told her not to question further, Tatsuya thanked her for her hard work and returned his attention to the computer screen. He heard her hesitant footsteps diminish, heard his other colleagues leaving and telling him not to overwork, but still he did not look up. His phone buzzed shortly after and he turned it off. It was past working hours and there was no more reason to keep his phone switched on.

Tomorrow, he would change his number, so that Hiromu-kun could no longer contact him. And just like this, as long as he worked overtime for several days, he was sure the teenager would find someone else to fall in love with.

Letting out a yawn, Tatsuya leaned back and decided to call it a day. His stomach rumbled from the lack of dinner and there was no sense in starving himself any longer. Besides, it was past ten; he was sure Hiromu-kun would have gone home by now.

That was what he thought, but when he saw that there was indeed no one outside the building, a sinking feeling twisted his stomach and made him forget his hunger. He stared blankly at the wall on which Hiromu-kun always leaned while waiting for him, working to accept the fact that the teenager had really given up on him. At last he dropped his gaze and forced his feet to move.

“Yukimura-san!”

The familiar voice stopped him. His eyes widened, overcome with a hopefulness that he could not suppress. But it was quickly replaced with indignant fury. Clenching his fists, Tatsuya walked away at a faster pace.

“Wait! Why are you ignoring me?”

He told himself not to turn back. He did not want to see Hiromu-kun again. He did not want to be reminded of the way those eyes shone whenever they talked or how those love confessions made him feel warm.

“Have you eaten dinner? I bought a bento for you. Can we eat together?”

Why did things become like this? Why was he so distraught? Why did he feel abandoned when it was supposed to be the other way round?

“Wait…Yukimura-san!”

A hand grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. Frustrated, Tatsuya glared at the teenager, ready to yell at him to stop being so pesky, but no words left his open mouth, and instead, what came out was a sob.

+++

Hiromu was thoroughly confused. He reached out to brush away the tears that would not stop flowing, but his hand was slapped aside. Not knowing what to do, he only waited as the older man removed his spectacles and rubbed his eyes.

“Go away,” Yukimura-san said after regaining his composure. “You left just now, so why bother coming back?”

What was he talking about? He only left for a minute to go to the toilet!

“I have no more advice for you, so go find someone else. You…You’re tired of me anyway.”

“That’s not true,” Hiromu tried to argue, but the other man refused to listen.

“I don’t need this. I don’t need you to be here. I didn’t ask you to barge into my life and turn it upside down!”

Question marks swam in his head as he tried to process the situation, but the sight of tears interrupted his thoughts and he could not come up with any answers. Desperate to make the older man happy again, Hiromu rummaged his bag and searched for the present he bought.

“Here!” He held the box out in both his hands and bowed. “I’m sorry for going to the toilet. And I’m sorry for giving this to you now when it was meant for your birthday. But don’t worry, I’ll buy another present for you. Just don’t cry anymore, please!”

There was an awkward silence as Yukimura-san stared at the box. Hiromu opened it to show off its contents, and even though he was darn proud of himself for buying it yesterday, he was suddenly terrified. His hands shook, his head remained bowed and he prayed that Yukimura-san would like the ring enough to stop being angry at him.

“…What does this mean?”

What did what mean?

Hiromu raised his head, peered at the doubtful look Yukimura-san was wearing and realised his folly. People usually presented this sort of gift only when they were proposing, and marriage was still too early a consideration for a teenager like him. But then again, it was Yukimura-san, and Hiromu did not mind changing his sex and bearing children for the man.

With a sharp intake of breath, he decided, so be it.

“W-W-Will you marry me?!” he yelled with eyes shut. “I worked at a café and used my money to buy this! I will continue to work hard and provide for you, so -”

“You’re nuts.”

The rejection stabbed right through Hiromu’s heart. He clutched his chest, dropped the hand that still held on to the box and thought he was going to drop dead. But of course, the wonderful man would not accept someone like him, a good-for-nothing delinquent.

“Where did you work at?”

“Nyan Nyan Paradise,” Hiromu answered flatly, not understanding the relevance of this question. But it no longer mattered. Yukimura-san would not marry him. “It’s a café near the library.”

“What was the timing of your shift?”

“Five to ten.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted to give you a surprise…”

Hiromu wanted to say more but realised he couldn’t. There was a weird lump in his throat that did not go away no matter how many times he swallowed, and it blocked his airway and stung his nose. It was a feeling he recognised. The same thing happened years ago, when his mother passed away.

He tried to blink back the tears, but couldn’t. Gone were his chances of laying his hands on the man. Gone too, were the precious evenings they spent together, eating bento and chatting in the park. His weeks of effort had not been enough; Yukimura-san was still too good for him, and he was sure he would never find someone as perfect for the rest of his life.

“Wait, why are you crying?” Yukimura-san asked, and more tears spilled because the man sounded annoyed.

“I’m sorry I made you angry,” he managed to say amidst sobs. “Sorry for lying to you in the past. Sorry I’m stupid. Sorry -”

His apologies were cut off by an unexpected rush of warmth and his face was pressed downwards against soft fabric. A wonderful scent assaulted him, Yukimura-san’s scent, and it made the daydream seem more real. Except, Hiromu learned when he felt the hand patting his back, he was not daydreaming. Yukimura-san was really hugging him.

“Idiot,” the man scolded. “You’re a yakuza’s son, aren’t you? Don’t be such a wimp.”

“But…but…”

“How did you think I felt when you suddenly stopped wanting to meet me? Stand in my shoes from time to time, you insensitive jerk.”

The words were laced with hints of embarrassment, and when they pulled apart, Hiromu saw the man blushing. His urge to cry disappeared, because despite his lack of intelligence, he realised what this was all about and why the man was angry.

Yukimura-san felt lonely without him around.

An incredible burst of hope guided his next action. He dropped everything, the bento and the ring, and he clasped Yukimura-san’s hands with both his own.

“I love you,” he declared while looking into the other man’s eyes, and summoned all his courage to ask what he suspected. “Could it be that you love me too?”


	12. Chapter 12

It was a slip of the tongue; because Hiromu-kun looked so pitiful, he couldn’t help but want to console him and he ended up getting carried away and revealing some of his own feelings.

“Could it be that you love me too?”

Earnest eyes gazed into his and made him not know how to react. He was surprised enough that Hiromu-kun would take up a part-time job - how embarrassing it was, misunderstanding the teenager and throwing a petty fit - and now he was confronted with a proposition that might just be true. He might be in love with Hiromu-kun.

Heat blasted from belly to face and he dipped his head. His mind was a swirling blur and he could not focus on any of his thoughts. He wondered if he was gay, realised he never felt this way towards any of his short-term girlfriends in the past and berated himself for falling in love with someone so young.

“Please tell me,” the impatient teenager prompted, still scorching him with his intense stare. “Do you love me?”

“S-Stop asking!”

He pulled away in a hurry, ignoring the hurt that splashed on the other’s face. This was wrong. Hiromu-kun must have confused lust with love. It was just a phase for the teenager, it would pass once he grew older and then he would arrive at the conclusion that being with a girl was better.

But there was the ring. It lay on the ground right by his feet, shining amidst the dirt and catching Tatsuya’s attention. It was the proof of Hiromu-kun’s hard work, and it reminded him of the other things the teenager had done, like waiting for him after school, giving him massages, complaining with him, studying hard for him, saving him from the bicycle…

Despite all of Hiromu-kun’s lies, one thing was consistent - his unadulterated displays of adoration.

Before he knew it, he had already picked the ring off the ground.

“It’s a waste,” he murmured, turned the object and saw their names engraved inside. “You could have spent the money on other things.”

“It’s all right,” Hiromu-kun said, seemingly on the verge of crying again. “I…I will buy you something else, something you like more.”

“Idiot, I never said anything about disliking it,” Tatsuya said with a sigh and slipped the ring into his pocket. “It’s your gift to me, right? I’m keeping it.”

Waiting for Hiromu-kun’s response was bad for his heart. For a long time the teenager said nothing, just wore an incredibly stupid expression with his mouth gaping. Then, like a plant receiving sunlight, his back straightened, the corners of his lips lifted and an explosion of hope brightened his entire being. The transformation was so drastic and comical that it tickled Tatsuya. He chuckled, blushed and thought it was not so bad to accept the other man.

“Oh my god!” Hiromu-kun exclaimed at last. “This means you’ll be my husband right?!”

It was not so bad to accept the teenager, but the idea of marriage was still too big a leap.

“W-Wait, no!” Tatsuya exclaimed, his mind overheating. “You’re still too young. You must wait till you get older…” Because this was an important life decision and should not be set on a whim, he wanted to say, but Hiromu-kun wasn’t listening.

“So we’ll get married in a few more years? Yes!” The teenager cried in joy, jumped and punched his fists in the air. “Yes! I love Yukimura-san!”

“Shh! Not so loud!”

Flustered beyond belief, he dragged Hiromu-kun away to the back of the office building. It was way past office hours and the district is rather empty, but he did not want to risk letting anyone know about their relationship. Here, at least, they were completely out of sight from the main road, and they could…

What was he expecting?

“Yukimura-san,” Hiromu-kun whispered as he neared, and Tatsuya thought he saw steam blowing from his enlarged nostrils. “Are you seducing me?”

“W-Wait,” he protested and backed away, sensing great danger. “What are you - ?”

A tug on his wrist made him stumble into Hiromu-kun’s open arms. The embrace was much gentler than the strangling hug in the past and it made him hesitate, because this time he could hear the heavy pounding beneath the teenager’s chest. The steady rhythm coaxed him not to resist.

His half-hearted struggles ceased and a breath caught in his throat when his face was lifted. He saw Hiromu-kun gazing at him with affection, realised the young man was actually good-looking when serious, and allowed his lips to be claimed.

+++

Hiromu had no idea what he was doing. His lips were pressed tightly against Yukimura-san’s and he only moved out of an instinctive search for greater pleasure. His hands roamed the back, travelling lower and lower, until it reached the curve right about the hips. He vaguely felt the man squirming, but he could neither think nor control his own actions. His hand cupped over the middle of the tempting butt and squeezed.

“Mmph!!”

Tatsuya’s moan vibrated against his lips, provoking him to kiss ever harder. He repeated that action, elicited another moan and alternated the pressure of his kiss to keep up with the rising heat. It felt too good and he was going crazy with need. More, he wanted more of the man’s warmth. Lips alone did not feel enough.

His tongue darted out and swiped across Yukimura-san’s parted lips.

A violent tremble coursed through the man, followed by another shaky moan. And then there was no man left in his arms. It happened too quickly - Yukimura-san’s fall - and Hiromu could not react in time.

“A-A-Are you all right?!” he asked in a panic.

“I-I’m fine,” Yukimura-san said, but Hiromu was not convinced. The man looked distressed, and he feared it was because he had done something very wrong.

He kissed Yukimura-san, and he was in heaven. Those lips were so soft, so sweet, and the moans were just too damn sexy. But if kissing would only make him put on such an agonised expression, it was not worth it. Even though Hiromu wanted to touch the man so much it hurt, he had learned over the weeks that it would hurt more if Yukimura-san hated him.

“I’m sorry! If you dislike it, I swear I won't do it anymore,” he apologised on all fours. Now that he thought about it, Yukimura-san had not even said he loved him. Besides, Hiromu was an inexperienced kisser and might have ruined the experience for the man earlier. He squeezed his eyes shut, readying himself to be hit or scolded.

He did not expect to _really_ be hit.

The blow landed smack in the center at the top of his skull - a solid punch that sent shockwaves reverberating through his brain. Hiromu howled in pain and scuttled backwards.

“Damn it, I already said I’m fine! Stop assuming what I dislike!” Contrary to the powerful punch, Yukimura-san’s voice was weak and sounded more like a complaint than reprimand. “I-It’s your fault I became like this…”

Head still throbbing from the impact, Hiromu could not understand what Yukimura-san was saying at first. He observed the man’s flushed cheeks, then his sight trailed down over his heaving chest and shaking arms to rest upon a suspicious tent. Hiromu stared at it long and hard, wondering if his eyes were playing tricks on him.

“I don’t care. Y-You better do something about it,” Yukimura-san said, his face turned sideways and his legs curled in an attempt to hide the tent. “You better…take responsibility…”

If taking responsibility meant marrying him, it was not a cause for worry. That was what he intended to do, even if it was still not possible in Japan at the moment.

But in this case, taking responsibility meant something else, and Hiromu was beginning to figure it out as each second passed with his eyes pinned on the target. And no, he was not a hundred percent thrilled despite this being part of his goal since day one, because now that the chance was actually presented to him, he realised he did not actually know how to go about _doing it._

Hiromu gulped, terrified to make a fool of himself in front of his future husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please look forward to the next M rated chapter~ =D


	13. Chapter 13

He should have watched gay videos instead of the typical porn. Those DVDs he kept under his bed were all about large breasts, and Yukimura-san didn’t have them.

They stumbled into a nearby public toilet with Hiromu supporting Yukimura-san. A brief look told him no one was around, and with a tug at the other man’s waist, they entered a cubicle and locked its door. Hiromu kissed with abandon, nibbling and sucking before pushing his tongue in. Moans filled his ears, and the puffs of warm breath made him intoxicated. His hands tightened their hold, fearing that the other man would escape from him.

Their lips parted out of the need to breathe, and Yukimura-san collapsed against him.

Hiromu used the chance to google.

Holding his phone in one hand, he looked over Yukimura-san’s shoulders and typed as quickly as he could with his shaking fingers. He had to know more about sex with another man, other than the usage of cock ring to delay ejaculation.

“What are you doing?”

“N-Nothing!”

Afraid to let the other know of his uselessness, he distracted Yukimura-san with another kiss before going back to consult google-sensei. After some clumsy tapping, he reached a site that described anal sex and preached the importance of condom, lubricant and plenty of preparation.

What should he do? Dash out to buy the goods?

“Hiromu-kun,” the man whispered into his ear. “I feel hot.”

Ah, it was no use. The impassioned Yukimura-san was too different from his usual prim and proper self, and too erotic. Hiromu didn’t think he could control himself any longer.

He dropped his phone, choosing instead to caress Yukimura-san’s hair.

“How can I make you feel better?” he asked, and out of options, admitted his lack of knowledge. “I-I’ve never done it before.”

A harmless chuckle left the man, and he said, “I would be worried if you had plenty of experience at seventeen.”

Hiromu felt a kiss on his cheek, one so delicate that it melted his worries.

“It’s all right. I’ve never done it with man too,” Yukimura-san reassured, resting his forehead on Hiromu’s shoulder. “We’re the same.”

It was a wonder how there could be such preciousness in the world. For Yukimura-san, he become the guy sucking nipples, the girl giving blowjob, or even the octopus in those tentacle-rape videos he had seen before.

Hiromu crushed the man in a hug and yelled his battle cry.

“I’ll do my best!”

+++

Truth be told, Tatsuya did not care even if someone saw their feet from the bottom of the cubicle’s door, and he was glad Hiromu-kun did not seem to care either. He did habour some doubts at the back of his mind, like whether he should really be doing this with a teenager, but he figured Hiromu-kun was not a holy maiden anyway. It was fine even if they were not at a romantic place, and he didn’t mind showing the more unrestrained side of himself.

Palms rested on his bare chest, and Tatsuya gasped at the cold sensation. The fingers went lower, pushed the opened shirt out of the way, and grazed lightly over his nipples. It was ticklish and he let out a small giggle, but when Hiromu-kun enclosed his mouth over one side and sucked, the giggles turned into helpless moans. That, combined with the wet sounds, bounced off the walls of the small toilet.

“Ah…! Hiromu-kun, go lower…”

To his surprise, the usually obedient teenager did not obey immediately. He stopped licking, stood upright and tugged at the collar of his gakuran uniform.

“So hot,” Hiromu-kun panted and undid the buttons. Sweat trickled from the side of his face down his neck and reached his exposed collarbone. Tatsuya swallowed as he admired the defined six-pack abdomen, still in disbelief that a man’s muscular body could make him this aroused.

His mind was snapped blank when Hiromu-kun resumed caressing him. Their bodies collided, and he hissed when his butt was squeezed again - just how much did Hiromu-kun like his butt? Wanting him to not just pay attention to his behind, Tatsuya rocked his hip forward. Their clothed erections rubbed against each other, and this time, it was Hiromu-kun who groaned. They mindlessly repeated the grinding motion, the younger man moving a little faster and harder, and Tatsuya felt like he was about to come.

He was then suddenly pushed against the side of the cubicle.

“I want to eat you up, Yukimura-san,” Hiromu-kun whispered, his eyes hazy with lust.

Without warning, the teenager fell to his knees and began undoing Tatsuya’s pants. The button was popped open, the zip was yanked down, and Hiromu-kun reached hungrily for the elastic band of his underwear. His stiff cock sprang up once the fabric was out of the way, and its tip was peeking from the foreskin and dripping with pre-cum. An overwhelming embarrassment overcame Tatsuya; he covered his mouth with both hands and closed his eyes, too ashamed to look.

He almost screamed when his cock was swallowed in one go. The warmth and wetness assaulted him too suddenly and the intense pleasure shook his entire body. He continued trembling even after Hiromu-kun’s mouth had left.

“Was it good?”

It was a redundant question. From the way his cock twitched and oozed more fluid, Hiromu-kun should know the answer. Tatsuya shot a frustrated look at the teenager, wanting him to continue instead of asking the obvious.

“H-Hurry,” he groaned and bucked his hips for extra measure.

The young man complied, but this time instead of taking the whole thing in, he lapped the underside and around the tip. Tatsuya thrusted by reflex to find more pleasure, but Hiromu-kun kept avoiding the places that needed attention. Biting his bottom lip and throwing his head back, Tatsuya tried to endure the little sparks of pleasure that were not enough to fulfil his desires.

Just as he thought the torture would never end, his cock was engulfed again. Tatsuya arched his back, pushed himself deep into Hiromu-kun’s mouth and felt again the boiling urgency of an approaching orgasm.

An abrupt constriction killed the feeling.

Tatsuya groaned in agony, and he squirmed when his cock was sucked on again. The swirling tongue drove him even closer to the brink, but Hiromu-kun’s fingers were enclosed over the base, so tight it made it difficult to come. Being stimulated while denied of release was almost too much for Tatsuya to bear.

He whimpered when Hiromu-kun stopped.

“Yukimura-san, I don’t want to hurt you, so please squeeze your thighs together?”

Tatsuya didn’t quite understand, but did as he was told when he was turned to face the toilet bowl. His knees quivered as he pressed them together and he supported himself by holding on to the tank. Then he felt a slimy sensation at the small hollow between his closed thighs.

“A-Ah…!” he cried out, realising what was happening.

Hiromu-kun was thrusting into the narrow opening, and his cock glided underneath Tatsuya’s. They both froze at the intimate contact, then Tatsuya felt arms wrapping around his waist.

“I love you so much, Yukimura-san.”

The confession held much joy, but also sounded as if the speaker was close to tears. Tatsuya turned his head and tried to scold the young man for being silly and overly sentimental, but the movements began and made him swallow the words. Hiromu-kun pounded against him, making loud slapping noises each time their hips crashed together. Tatsuya rested one hand on Hiromu-kun’s arms, wanting to keep the man as close as possible while pushing his hips backwards to meet the thrusts.

There was something else he wanted to do - to tell Hiromu-kun how he felt.

“H-Hiromu-kun,” he gasped, moaned and did his best to continue. “I…too…ah!”

His pelvic muscles constricted and the exploding orgasm overtook him before he could finish his sentence. He spurted into the toilet bowl in multiple shots, and he rocked back and forth to ride out the waves of pleasure. He felt Hiromu-kun tense up behind him, and with a moan, he too released his desire.

They remained in that position, drained and gasping for air. Tatsuya stared blankly at the water and saw their ejaculation floating on top. But before he could reflect about what they had just done, or lament that he failed to confess, he saw something else inside the water. As the murkiness slowly faded from his mind, he realised what he was staring at.

This was going to break the mood, but he thought the other should know.

“Hiromu-kun,” he called in a raspy voice. Then he twisted sideways so that the younger man could also see. “Is that your phone?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eheh. Hope you found it hot despite there being no penetration.


	14. Chapter 14

A week after they got together, Tatsuya found himself standing before a tall wooden gate, hand in hand with his boyfriend. His jaw dropped as he stared at it, and at the stone walls beside it that extended to infinity, and he felt so cheated.

“You never told me you’re rich.”

“I’m not. My father is,” Hiromu-kun explained with a carefree grin and Tatsuya furrowed his brows.

“Isn’t it the same thing?”

All this time, the teenager had been frugal with his spending - the ring being the only exception - and Tatsuya had jumped to conclusion that he must be from a family with average income. But now that he thought about it, it made perfect sense since his ancestor was the one who founded one of the most powerful yakuza groups in Japan.

He glanced around as the gate opened, and he stepped through with hunched shoulders.

“Relax!” Hiromu-kun chirped and landed a soft slap on his back. “My father’s not home today. It’s just the two of us.”

“And a platoon of servants,” Tatsuya muttered while nodding at the people who greeted them. Their eyes were lowered respectfully, but he could tell they were keeping watch on him. “I don’t think I’ll stay for long.”

“Please don’t say that.”

A moment of carelessness had him caught in Hiromu-kun’s embrace. Their foreheads rested against each other, and Tatsuya thought he was going to die from shame. They were still in the presence of the servants, for goodness sake.

“I will dismiss them so we can be alone,” the young man said. “Then…we can take our time…”

“To study?”

The voice came from further inside the compound, and it made Tatsuya jump away. Standing at a doorway was a middle-aged man with tattoos peeking from the yukata draped loosely around his body. His hair was combed back, and the corners of his eyes were slightly lifted, just like Hiromu-kun.

“Dad?!” the teenager exclaimed. He took out his new phone - Tatsuya bought it for him since the old one was beyond saving - and checked the messages. “You said you’ll be away on a business trip!”

Completely ignoring his son, the man stepped down from the veranda and made his way over with an amiable smile. It was the same smile as what Hiromu-kun wore when he pretended to be a good student.

“You must be the person who inspired my son to study,” the man said and bowed. “It’s nice to meet you. Welcome to my humble abode.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, Yamaguchi-san. I am Yukimura Tatsuya,” he replied with a rigid bow. “Please excuse my intruding.”

“Dad, can you leave us alone?” Hiromu-kun grumbled from the side. “He’s my lover and we’re going to have sex.”

Did Hiromu-kun just casually come out of the closet?

Colour drained from Tatsuya’s face and he stared at the younger man, too horrified to deny or retaliate. Besides, the other two men were engaged in an argument that gave him no space to interrupt, and he could only keep his mouth shut and follow them into the house.

“Hah! You’re ten years too early to have a lover,” the father taunted with a smirk, a drastic switch from the polite smile earlier. “Bet you don’t even know how to *beep* or *beep*”

“Says who?!” Hiromu-kun argued. “We’ve already *beep* and we’re planning to *beep* so can you just go away?!”

Tatsuya sat in seiza on the tatami mat and waited as the father continued testing his son’s knowledge about various sex techniques. Didn’t the fact that his son was dating a man bother him? His head spun in confusion, and he wished he could slip away quietly. He nearly yelped when Yamaguchi-san suddenly turned towards him.

“Forgive me for asking, but may I know your age, Yukimura-san?”

“Th-Thirty-one.”

“I’m forty-three. It seems we are twelve years apart.” The man winked and gave a lecherous leer. “Our age gap is smaller, so how about it? Ditch my stupid son and be with me instead.”

“Dad!” Hiromu-kun slammed the wooden table and protested. “You fucker! Stay away from Yukimura-san!”

“Oh? Hurling vulgarities at me? You must be tired of living.”

A snap of his fingers and men in black suits appeared in the room. They seized Hiromu-kun by the arms and with a wave of Yamaguchi-san’s hand, proceeded to drag the teenager out.

“Don’t you dare touch him!” Hiromu-kun yelled and struggled, but to no avail. “He’s my future husband! He’s wearing the ring I gave around his neck! Don’t you -!”

The shoji door was slid shut, the howling diminished and Tatsuya was left alone with the dangerous older man. He could feel the million beads of sweat rolling down his back.

“Yukimura-san,” the man drawled and shifted closer.

This was bad. He could not possibly outrun those scary men in black, there was no way he could escape. And if he did something to offend this man, a real yakuza, he might lose a finger or two.

Tatsuya shut his eyes and braced himself, but nothing happened. It took a few more seconds before he dared to look up, and when he did, he was shocked.

“Thank you for taking care of my son,” the man said. His hands were placed before his knees and his head was lowered in a grateful bow. “You changed him from a lazy bum into a hard-working man. He’s not incredibly bright, but I hope that you will continue to nurture him. Please teach him to be an upright person, so that he has other paths to take in life than being a yakuza.”

“Oh, no, you exaggerate,” Tatsuya shook his head and also dipped into a bow of matching height. “I am the one fortunate to have met your son. He is a wonderful person.”

A gentle smile spread on the older man’s face as he straightened, and all Tatsuya could see was a proud father who really loved his son.

“I’m leaving Hiromu in your care.”

+++

Hiromu chewed on his thumb as he walked. Thanks to his father, they couldn’t even spend a minute in peace, and now it was evening and time to escort his boyfriend home.

“That stupid old man. I hope he kicks the bucket soon,” he grumbled, and winced when a kick hit his shin.

“You’re too rude. You should be nicer to your father,” Yukimura-san advised and carried on walking ahead.

Just what magic did his father cast to buy Yukimura-san’s favour?

Crying on the inside, Hiromu hung his head and said nothing else. His melancholy was short-lived however, and soon he was smiling like a fool again.

Yukimura-san was holding his hand.

“I have something to tell you,” the man said without looking at him. “I should have told you earlier, but I never found the chance.”

“What is it?”

Yukimura-san stopped and turned. His face was shrouded in shadows from the backlight cast by the setting sun, and Hiromu could not see his expression clearly.

“Listen, Hiromu-kun,” he said, more sombre than usual. “The truth is…I…”

A short chime interrupted just then and the man stamped his feet.

“Damn it. Who is it?”

Yukimura-san checked his phone, and out of curiosity, Hiromu peeped at the screen.

_‘Come home from time to time, Tatsuya.’_

“Is that your mother?”

“Yes.”

They stared at the message together for a few silent seconds.

“I think she must be really lonely,” Yukimura-san whispered. “I still can’t forgive myself about my dad, but I think it’s time to go home.”

“I think you should,” Hiromu said and slung an arm over Yukimura-san’s shoulders. “Bring me along and introduce me as your future husband.”

“Idiot. Not every parent is as understanding as your father.”

“Ah! You’re praising that old man again!”

“Well he’s much better than you. Wise, mature and so loving.”

“Am I not loving enough?!”

Not caring that they were in public, Hiromu grabbed and kissed his boyfriend on his lips. He didn’t give a shit about what others thought of him, and he figured, to hell with being considerate for the rest of society. He only needed to be considerate for the man he loved, Yukimura-san, and no one else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been fun writing this! To be honest, the feel of this story is rather different from what I'm more used to writing, so I did struggle at some parts. I hope I did a decent job. (Eh, the *beep* parts are added for fun =D)
> 
> Anyway, the title is 'In His Shoes', mainly because it's inspired by the picture of the shoes.  
> But I've also tried to explore it's figurative meaning of being considerate (thinking from another's point of view) which is a very important trait to have especially in the Japanese society.
> 
> Please go to my facebook page, Twisted Medley (https://www.facebook.com/twistedmedley/), for the scandalous picture of the shoes and the conversation between my friends which sparked this story! I've tried my best to follow their plot and at the same time given some of my own twists to it. Hope it has been entertaining!
> 
> On a side note, Hiromu still calls Tatsuya by his last name out of habit and respect, but that'll most likely change once Tatsuya successfully confesses his feelings.
> 
> So what do you think of this story? Please feel free to leave a comment and share with me your thoughts.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
